I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
