I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
