return my video game
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
