yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My dick has a subreddit
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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