Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
