You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
