I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
