Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
