im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
