the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
