I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
