just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Sober January is a disaster.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
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