Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
