I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
