why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
