that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
