i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
