he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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