Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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