just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
