there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
