guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize