I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I touched a dick in church today
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
