just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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