The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
