Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
