Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
