Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
