The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
