forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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