..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
