no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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