4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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