btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
