Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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