My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The air taste purple.
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