so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
