I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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