You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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