And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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