Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
