I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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