i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
