it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
