I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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