I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
