So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
