I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
