Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
