oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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