I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Every concussion has its silver lining
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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