i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
40s are totally the cure
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
