Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
