right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
