I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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