i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
