real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
