Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
